I have named this lens sex guide for the simple reason that I don't believe that any one us was born a "natural lover".  Every one of us has learned the do's and don't of sex from our experiences with others and I'm no different. This lens and others to follow are all about sex and sharing my experiences and experiences of others which will hopefully serve as a guide to making you a better lover, both men and women.

Life is made of many things that we either love or hate. All of us are busy trying to get as much as possible of the things we love and to avoid those we hate, Relationships, however, are among the rare things that are entirely up to us. Relationships can be wonderful or hateful. It's the feeling between the partners, the experience and the chemistry that count. If you love the other and know enough about yourself and the world to avoid mistakes then you'll have a fine relationship. If you and your partner are also satisfied with each other in bed, then heaven is one step away.

Exploration is one of the keys to the kingdom of love. You have to know how to do it and how to time it. Don't leave it out of the relationship or it will go stale. Don't rush it either or pretty soon there'll be nothing left to explore. Wanting to know your partner inside out is fine, but don't try to learn it all in the first three months. This is a process you can spread over a couple of years, leaving little secrets for future discoveries and preparing surprises for your partner.

The same goes for sex and its role in relationships. For some people, sex is the great catalyst that binds a relationship and makes it good. It's the act that ends all fights and makes everything seem perfect for a while. For others, sex is a pleasant, but not overly so, pastime, a sort of bonus to the relationship. No chance of it being the main course here.

Regardless of what you want sex to be in the relationship, this act of physical pleasure should benefit from the passion to explore that we have discussed above. Many men and women who say sex is a modern obsession that should be given no more than its proper place in a relation have little idea of what sex could be. The combinations of moves and positions available for both foreplay and sex are practically unlimited and the pleasure of sustained exploration for things that could further enhance the experience for both partners is like buying a hot new car and finding a case full of money in the trunk.